The truth about my abuse

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10631314_10202078060266189_8995595798187752408_oThe seed was planted the moment my childhood was interfered with.  And whilst for some the source of all their suffering was found with the aid of loved ones like family, for me and like many others, I had to travel this journey alone.

Just when I thought my life was at its worst, something would always come along a push me even further into despair, grief, anguish and leave me anticipating my next move.  I recall so many times I was so broken that all I could do was cry and then when I had no energy for that, be still.

Many times I’d swim in an ocean of disbelief trying desperately to figure out why those around me that would witness or play a part in ‘the abuse’ and wouldn’t do what seemed obvious to most.

My family failed to respond to my cry about abuse despite the abuser admitting it.  This planted another seed that would need to be found and also left me open to entering into an abusive relationships which would leave me open to another seed been planted that I’d eventually have to find.

The planting of a seed seems to be the only analogy fit to describe the process one must endure once they take full responsibility to free themselves from the bad seeds in their garden that make achieving success twice as hard for those that don’t have them.

Fast forward I’ve managed to find those seeds with full acknowledgement of the people along the way that failed to help me do this despite me been taught they have the answers.  Family, friends, intoxicants, communities, organisations and finally religion have all revealed to me the truth behind abuse.

Life teaches us that all of the above will give us the resolve to life’s woes, when in fact the greatest healer I found was turning inwards.  Empowering myself to take full responsibility to access the questions the little girl that was once full of joy and happiness lost.

Only when I visited this place through writing, meditating and spiritual intervention did I find the place that I once lived in as a little girl called ‘happiness’.

My story has travelled far by the Grace of God and I give thanks that I’m able to share my story, and just that act in itself has revealed to me the many women who have contacted me to say thanks.

I continue to speak out on this topic realising that until those of us capable of doing so can share why it is we as ‘the abused’ continue to be neglected because people don’t know how to manage these issues correctly, nothing will change.

Be part of the Solution and not the problem, ‘Break the silence’.

Why I’m in the papers

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In the space of a month I’ve had the opportunity to be featured in Sisters Mag, Shakti Women (women to watch), Brit Asia TV, Asian World Newspaper and quite recently Eastern Eye Newspaper. Although my public work was more of the attraction I chose to extend this opportunity further in the hope of achieving something greater than anticipated.

From as early as I can remember, abuse has always challenged me to move forward. For years I’d go to counsellors trying to get to the root of my misery in the hope of achieving my happy every after. Never did I stop and acknowledge what exactly I was hoping to gain.

I remember the moment it all dawned on me. I was curled up in a ball, sleepless, speechless, lifeless. I took out a book that I’d bought and open it up. I smoothed out its brand new pages, ‘The Free Writing Journal’, I took a deep breath and began writing.

3 Years later I make it my living to go out to schools and teach children about Identity and Abuse, both areas of my life that had me falling into black holes of despair and misery. I had to be a clown before I could retire from the stage and return in full glory embracing every part of me good and bad.

When I take to the stage many wriggle in their seats, puzzled by appearance, curious as to whether I can do what I claim. Singing is what I do, and alongside my own joy I appear to have captured the emotions of my audience. In doing so I share one of the darkest parts of my life in the hope that others can find the light a lot sooner than I.

I am Shalina
I am a Muslim
I am a Woman
I am a single mother
I am British
I am an Artist

Allahu Akbar (God is the Greatest)

Crisis Analysis: When Divorce Brings Freedom

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iamshalina:

I was given the amazing opportunity to share my journey after divorce. Check it out :)

Originally posted on Lexical Scribe:

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As the opening entry to our Crisis Analysis series: The Divorced Muslim Woman, we talk to Shalina Litt. Shalina is a Muslimah who found both strength and freedom through her divorce. Unfortunately, most divorces are seen as a breakdown of marriage resulting from faults on both sides. Now, whilst this may be the case in some divorces, it is not the truth for all. 

Shalina shares her story – how walking away from her marriage lead her to start an exciting new chapter in her life…

Getting Divorced Was The Best Thing I Ever Did
Shalina Litt

If I told you he stamped on my head and I still stayed married to him, you’d think I was crazy.  What did it take for me to finally walk away? I lost my baby. For me, that was when the case was closed. I asked for my khula [divorce], full of emotion. At…

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Boycotting limits their power!

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This morning I got back from an interview, I was brought to tears as I placed the headphones over my ears to learn of how the BBC were reporting what is happening in Gaza. While a massacre takes place, or another ethnic cleansing attack on Muslims is present, a video appeared on social media with Michael Gove declaring he is a zionist.

I cried because on the one hand I didn’t want to aid an organisation in reporting whilst they display what seems to be a very biased approach. However I don’t believe everyone who works at BBC agrees, and whist I acknowledge this is wrong also I acknowledge that I must continue to stand up for what I believe in at any given opportunity to declare the truth about Islamaphobia and look for those that present me with that platform.

Innocent people who take no part in this spiritual warfare because they see no value in it, float along in a collective consciousness shaped by those with the power to inject beliefs fuelled by pure evil.

Everyone is on a journey and while some figure out what is governing their every move some are non the wiser till the awareness is presented to them by different means. Are you been controlled or in control, that is the question.

Boycotting limits a power yes, but while we invest our energy in that we loose sight of what we should really want to achieve when we acknowledge we wish to have no part in those that promote the discrimination of people just because of their beliefs, (Trojan Horse).

Democracy should be about a social consensus achieved through a collective consciousness that protects the rights of humans with no discrimination of creed, race, sex, religion and so on. Limitations should only be imposed where someone beliefs pose to be a harm to the self or those around them.

Sexual Abuse- Where do I start Part 1

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Sexual Abuse- Where do I start Part 1

The brother abused his sister, the uncle abused his niece, the father abused his daughter, the cousins abused him, the imam abused the student. The amount of calls I receive on this topic are endless. I’ve remained silent on this issue for quite a while now trying to figure out how I approach it, but enough is enough.

Firstly if you’ve been abused I hope it is clear to you by now that you have nothing to be ashamed of, rather it is those that took part in making you feel as though this abuse was nothing more than a slap on the wrist and you should get over it that should really be ashamed.

Secondly to the family that finds out about the abuse- It is important to know that how a family responds can either aid the victim to make a quicker recovery, but if not managed correctly, the way a family respond can set the victim back further more.

My delay in addressing this topic has been due to me wanting to do a radio show that not only raises the topic but has the right people on offering support from different aspects.

Although sexual abuse is more common with girls, boys are also at risk of been abused, and in some cases I’ve heard that more that one person has taken part in this vicious crime.

It seems many want me to raise this issue on my show and in blogs so I’ll try my best to address it the way it should. If you would like support or to inform me of any organisations that help others please email iamshalina@live.co.uk and you will be contacted God Willing