When I first start practicing Islam I was so eager to be obedient that I lost the ability to think. Everything I did was referenced by what was in accordance with Islam. Now of course that is wonderful for the believer, howver it becomes dangerous if you take your sources about obedience from the wrong places.
At a very traumatic time in my life, I needed answers so I applied what I understood to be Quran and Sunnah. But was met with people who gave me their personal opinions which were heavily influenced by their own cultural conformaties on how to conduct yourself in times of difficulties.
Deep in my heart I was unsetteled by the many advices that came to me, but who was I to argue with an imam who had studied for years. And my own family pressures to uphold a precise manner was also preventing me from saying that I disagreed which in turn would send me looking for the right answers.
Praise be to Allah eventually a sister came along who oberserved me chatting about my expereinces and responses. The sister began sending me knowledge from Quran and Sunnah that began to help me distinguish between knowledge and right knowledge.
I therefore felt obliged to write this post as I now hear about many women who are treated by their husbands and famillies in ways that are most definatley not from Quran and Sunnah.
For me my faith in Allah did carry me through my turmoil as Allah sent me people who confirmed the little twitches of doubt I had about people’s opinions and conduct.
Therefore I say always go back to the basics, what are your rights as a woman, daughter’s, sister’s and wife’s in Islam? Because if you are not getting them and you acknowledge this, you become the oppressor as only you can free yourself from this injustice.
And Allah knows best