Coming to a stage in your life when you decide to tell all those that you love and you were never good enough for to either take what you are given or leave it, has to be one of the most liberating experiences for the self.
Our first expereince of loving people who cannot love us back the right way has to be family. I had first hand expereince of exhausting myself to do what I thought would keep my family happy. The consequences was living a life of desicions that pleased everyone else but me.
Until we finally accept or learn that our family should not of loved us with conditions but rather supported us when we make desicions they may or not agree with.
My famillies approach to this set me up for a lot of years trying to figure out why I ended up in a relationship that replicated the very same controlling measures and type of relationship.
Although looking back my life seems like the ultimate car crash, i’m greatful to have been on the journey of self discovery, because had i have never un learnt this type of loving, I probably would have just passed it on through my children.
Although painful, removing those that abused this love or distancing myself from these people enabled me to heal and grow.
Until the day finally arrived when i’d expect nothing less than the best for myself, despite how it seemed to others.
Loving yourself has to be one of the most gratifying expereinces ever, because for the first time in my life, I can put myself before others as I previously had great difficulty in doing.
I’m not dismissing that helping others is something that should be stopped, but rather that we take care of ourselves so we understand how we can share that advice with others and help others implement it.
Ultimately love should not hurt, and when we find outselves in relationships like this, assesment is important to define whether we are being pateint or opressing ourselves by staying in a relationship we struggle with.
And Allah knows best!