I finally found someone to be my wakeel, mashallah! And what is that you might ask yourself? Well if a woman in Islam is without a Wali (Father, Brother, Uncle, Cousin) to represent her affairs, than she will usually end up having to appoint a wakeel to take this place.
According to Islamic texts she would go straight to her local masjid, and he would do so. Now my personal experience has been a very unfortunate one, and fed up of wakeels not understanding their role, for a while I accepted that without one, Allah would always manage my affairs.
Time has taught me that many sisters have left themselves open to abuse when they feel there is no necessity to implement this practice of Quran and Sunnah. The result is quite often not a good one. Therefore I feel it is important we highlight 2 points for sisters to continue protecting their honour and safety from predators or people who are negligent.
1) Find a good wakeel who has references in the community and is known for looking after sisters correctly (treating them like their very own daughters) and not just marrying them off to the first available brother
2) If a brother is interested in getting to know you a little more, let your wakeel do the ground work for you first. He can do the bit that often feels like a job interview. Only when the wakeel gives you the green light, can you enter into round 2 of getting to know a brother with Wakeel present at ALL times.
3) If a marriage breaks down, remember speaking to you is a privilege that brother lost, and your wakeel should be re introduced as a mediator.
Success comes from worshipping Allah and not your own desires 🙂