The seed was planted the moment my childhood was interfered with. And whilst for some the source of all their suffering was found with the aid of loved ones like family, for me and like many others, I had to travel this journey alone.
Just when I thought my life was at its worst, something would always come along a push me even further into despair, grief, anguish and leave me anticipating my next move. I recall so many times I was so broken that all I could do was cry and then when I had no energy for that, be still.
Many times I’d swim in an ocean of disbelief trying desperately to figure out why those around me that would witness or play a part in ‘the abuse’ and wouldn’t do what seemed obvious to most.
My family failed to respond to my cry about abuse despite the abuser admitting it. This planted another seed that would need to be found and also left me open to entering into an abusive relationships which would leave me open to another seed been planted that I’d eventually have to find.
The planting of a seed seems to be the only analogy fit to describe the process one must endure once they take full responsibility to free themselves from the bad seeds in their garden that make achieving success twice as hard for those that don’t have them.
Fast forward I’ve managed to find those seeds with full acknowledgement of the people along the way that failed to help me do this despite me been taught they have the answers. Family, friends, intoxicants, communities, organisations and finally religion have all revealed to me the truth behind abuse.
Life teaches us that all of the above will give us the resolve to life’s woes, when in fact the greatest healer I found was turning inwards. Empowering myself to take full responsibility to access the questions the little girl that was once full of joy and happiness lost.
Only when I visited this place through writing, meditating and spiritual intervention did I find the place that I once lived in as a little girl called ‘happiness’.
My story has travelled far by the Grace of God and I give thanks that I’m able to share my story, and just that act in itself has revealed to me the many women who have contacted me to say thanks.
I continue to speak out on this topic realising that until those of us capable of doing so can share why it is we as ‘the abused’ continue to be neglected because people don’t know how to manage these issues correctly, nothing will change.
Be part of the Solution and not the problem, ‘Break the silence’.