Category Archives: community

Be Obedient not a doormat!

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Be Obedient not a doormat!

When I first start practicing Islam I was so eager to be obedient that I lost the ability to think. Everything I did was referenced by what was in accordance with Islam. Now of course that is wonderful for the believer, howver it becomes dangerous if you take your sources about obedience from the wrong places.

At a very traumatic time in my life, I needed answers so I applied what I understood to be Quran and Sunnah. But was met with people who gave me their personal opinions which were heavily influenced by their own cultural conformaties on how to conduct yourself in times of difficulties.

Deep in my heart I was unsetteled by the many advices that came to me, but who was I to argue with an imam who had studied for years. And my own family pressures to uphold a precise manner was also preventing me from saying that I disagreed which in turn would send me looking for the right answers.

Praise be to Allah eventually a sister came along who oberserved me chatting about my expereinces and responses. The sister began sending me knowledge from Quran and Sunnah that began to help me distinguish between knowledge and right knowledge.

I therefore felt obliged to write this post as I now hear about many women who are treated by their husbands and famillies in ways that are most definatley not from Quran and Sunnah.

For me my faith in Allah did carry me through my turmoil as Allah sent me people who confirmed the little twitches of doubt I had about people’s opinions and conduct.

Therefore I say always go back to the basics, what are your rights as a woman, daughter’s, sister’s and wife’s in Islam? Because if you are not getting them and you acknowledge this, you become the oppressor as only you can free yourself from this injustice.

And Allah knows best

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Never judge a Muslimah by her veil!

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Never judge a Muslimah by her veil!

Why oh why do people feel the need to impose their views in a manner that leaves another feeling sad. You have the group of people who look on the veiled woman in disgust. Then there is the group of people who think the woman covered from head to toe is a saint.

Truth is the way we dress no longer reflects our level of faith or devotion to God. Because unfortunatley culture has played a substantial part in affecting the way one is dressed.

I think this picture is a great example of what i’m trying to say, as it reflects what people would see as balanced verses extreme.

Hijaab is a set of conditions, and to my knowledge the basics are:
1) To show a minimum of hands and Face
2) Not to show the shape of your body
3) To wear a material that is not too thin or see through
4) Not to resemble the opposite sex
5) Not to resemble the dressing of the disbelievers
6) Not to stand out with reference to colours

I’m sure there is one more? Anyway according to the above conditions, I just felt the need to raise this is people all too often hold high importance to the way a woman is dressed. I personally think what is most important is the woman’s understanding of Tawheed (The oneness of God)

The Madrasah Crisis

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After 2 years of running my own madrasah Masha Allah and attending Madrasah’s as a child i’ve come to question the purpose and affectiveness of the Madrasah?  It would seem millions partake in what has almost become a habitual or cultural habit of sending their child to Madrasah, but do we not have to stop and question what we aim to gain or benefit from this?

I understand the objective of sending children to a Madrasah is to not only teach our children how to read the glorious and noble Quraan, but also to contemplate how we should digest and implement the practices of Quraan and Sunnah.

The other day whilst in the company of my son and his friend who are both 10 years and above, I reminded my son that prayer time was upon us.  Therefore I instructed him to go and perform his Salaat.  His friend who is 11 years old and raised in a Muslim family did not react to this instruction.  I was familliar with the friend and new of him to be well mannered and recalled his eagerness to pray on time in the month of Ramadan. 

Knowing this I questioned his resillience to go and pray, and was intrigued to hear his response.  He told me, ‘My mom sent me to madrasah to read Quraan, but I really don’t see the point in learning how to read something I don’t understand’!  He then added, ‘It would appear my family place a greater importance on me completing and memorising the Quraan then adhereing to my 5 daily prayers, and it has been so long since I prayed, I think i’ve forgotten how’.

This response saddened me as I realised he is one of many children who are not taught the true essence of Islam.  Quite often when I ask children what I consider to be fundamental questions about Islam, they do not know the answers. For eg:

  • Who is Allah?
  • Who is Prophet Muhammed (SAW)?
  • What is a Muslim?
  • What is Islam?

Quite often children do not know the answers to these questions, and further still, crime statistics confirm that young people who were raised in ‘Muslim’ famillies go on to indulge in Free Mixing, drugs and listening to highly inappropriate music which acts as a demonstration of the inaffectiveness of many who attended Madrasahs.

As parents I believe we must encourage our Madrasahs to conduct Tarabiyah and teachings that assist young Muslims on how to behave in a society that finds them contending with many identities such as, ‘Being British, Muslim or holding dear to their ethnic minority cultural practices’.

The true understanding of Islam is now contending with the cultural understanding of Islam which can be a harm if not managed correctly. 

May Allah aid our Madrasah’s to adapt their style of teachings to capture a generation of young Muslims and prepare them with the correct naseehah (advice) that prepares them for this life. Ameen

The cries for help are getting louder!

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I try to be very light hearted in my blogs, but when I get calls from sisters who are overcome with anxiety or emotion I often feel helpless.  All I can do is offer the best of words and advice, but once I put the phone down that is usually it.

Alhamdulilah I’ve recently met so many beautiful sisters who have also experienced the same feeling and slowly but surely sisters are coming together to provide a place of rest and support for those affected.  But in the mean time I can only pray that anyone who reads this blog doesn’t ignore the cries for help which usually present themselves in various manifestations from sisters. 

I’m no professional but I know when I meet a sister who is on the edge speaking about a darkness over coming her and loosing the will to live.  There is only so much good advice we can offer so if you are put in this scenario then seek advice from those you know who are qualified to help the sister in need. 

 Lets come together to help heal the sisters who need love and support from their ummah.  I will provide a list of numbers and services available to sisters in need in my next blog insha Allah so if you can help please in box me so you can be added to the list insha Allah

And if you are a sister who is in this dark time then turn to the only one that can rectify your affairs because there is no one or anything that can give you peace other than the one who placed this trial there for you.  ‘Allah tests those that he loves’.

Married and on income Support!

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Ok Sheikh Fauzaan said it like it is.  If you are claiming Income Support it comes with conditions, and if you are negligent of adhering to these conditions then you are stealing from the government, simple as that. 

Social Security is exactly that! And if you get that security from the goverment then you’ll find it hard to show obedience to a man who isn’t looking after you.  And if you are a man who allows your wife to be looked after by the government then don’t be surprised when she starts waving her hands in your face telling you she can do all bad by herself. 

Muslim Women are being targeted by the shaytaan because the Kufr know Dat she can build a nation or destroy a nation.  Another talk I heard by Sheikh Fauzaan, Masha Allah.

My point is, Islam is a way of life and it really does protect us from things we do not sometimes anticipate.  So we wake up and protect ourselves by reading the small print.  As Umar RA said, ‘take yourself into account before you are taken into account’.  Tomorrow is not promised to us, so we must live each day like its our last.

I went to the halal butchers once and I was a little short on money.  The brother said its ok you can give it to me next time.  I told him thank you but I do not want to die with any debts so i prefer it if I pay for the correct amount.  He said sister I know this, but consider this debt waived and forgiven if that be the case.  Masha Allah!

 

 

The Evidance is as follows: and I stand corrected it was Shaykh Falaah ibn ‘Ismail al-Mandakar

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