Tag Archives: children

Childcare in Kuwait

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I’ve had many sisters following my journey of moving and working abroad and the most common question I’ve had is about childcare.  It seems to be considered as one of the greatest obstacles, and while I don’t ignore the weight of it, I refuse to let it stand in my way.

It appears there are one of two choices, nurseries or nannies, and while I explore these options I learn about the common problems and benefits of both.  At the moment I’ve heard some horror stories about bitter nannies which have severely neglected or abused children in there care.  From putting a child in the fridge, to making a child drink bleach.  Stories like these forces me to take the only option left available which is to employ a nanny through the agency.  It is expensive, but at present appears to be the only way of securing references and police checks, that ensure the safety of your child.

The other option of nurseries so far has not been to my satisfaction.  Now this maybe due to my own OCD issues and preferences, and unfortunately upon visiting a handful of nurseries I wait patiently to embark on one that gives me peace of mind. The plus however most definitely is the assurance that your child is constantly under the supervision of more than one person.

Lastly my most reliable source of finding childcare at present is word of mouth, whereby nannies have been referred.  Its tempting to go with the cheaper option which some nannies are very grateful for, but I struggle to feel comfortable with some of the amounts I’ve been told.  Kuwait is a very rich country, but the divide here is far and wide, and I continue to question my own morals when a majority explain to me that the salaries we offer are more than sufficient?

In the meantime my quest to find the best childcare remains in the hands of God.  My son will be 12 weeks old by the time I start work God Willing.  Initially I was quick to think I could go back to work, but I’m only human, and while the time quickly approaches, I raise my hands and Ask Allah to give send me a nanny that will not be a harm to my son in anyway In sha Allah.

I had a dream to move abroad and work in a Muslim land.  Now I’m here Alhamdulilah I have a new dream, and that is for my children only to prosper in character and faith whilst becoming people that will benefit others through their success.  I was a single mom in a high rise in Bromford.  Nothing comes easy, but by the Grace of God I’m here.

Can mommy be daddy?

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From very early on we are given a strong idea of what a family looks like, and it usually consists of mommy, daddy, brother and sister.  This idea is pushed via movies, books and everyday life deceiving us in to believing that happily ever after can only exist in this scenario, but what happens when it don’t turn out that way?

The answer is evident and is taking place all over the world, in Britain alone there are 2 million single parents!  Unfortunately most of these single parents are women who are forced to make tough decisions, either swim against the current or get swept away leading you to one destination which is often one with poor life chances.

Now the dynamics of single parents is vast because of course as we started to tackle these high numbers we first have to clarify how single these parents are.  What I mean here is when parents are successful at establishing good co parenting despite separation we can quickly anticipate the well being of the child.  But when it all goes wrong and communication can’t be established it is unfortunate that the only one that suffers is the child who is in no way deserving of this outcome.

In the absence of the father, mothers are forced to be both mommy and daddy, not only taking on the goodie and baddie role’s but also working through times of illness which can only impact their well being.  This means children are being raised by mothers who are often working under extremely stressful conditions, and when they get things wrong, people fail to remember this.

Why we live in a country that seems to make it all to easy for fathers to abandon their responsibilities.  Child Support doesn’t make a great father, emotional support does, and whilst mothers continue to play mommy and daddy, I question the well being of a generation raised in one parent families.  I could go on but I think thats enough to think about for now!

Single Mothers Sail, float or sink?

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Single Mothers Sail, float or sink?

As the day begins I open my eyes praying I feel better than yesterday. To my dismay the feeling of weakness still lingers in my body! I take a big sigh and call up work to tell them the bad news. At the back of my mind I think, “Oh no, another day off work, I might loose my job, this is going to affect me financially, there are so many things I can do, maybe I can go in and just take it really slow”?????????

Life as a single mother has to be one of the most challenging roles. maintaining an abundance of tasks and responsibilities. I’ve met many single mothers, and their drive to achieve amazes me. So this blog is definitely dedicated to my sisters who I know push forward through hardship after hardship.

In the space of a day, from the moment I wake up its all go, till eventually I collapse on my bed exhausted from the non stop task load of work that seems endless. I know there are some mothers who are married and endure the same intensity of hardship. Looking on the bright side I’m grateful that I’m not one of them ladies who in addition to everything else on my task load, has to cook and clean for a man who contributes nothing more than another mouth to feed in the household!

However in the midst of these trials, when disaster strikes, there nothing is more wonderful than seeing your hard work pay-off when the compassion of your children blossoms like a flower. My son offering to aid me in the necessities of getting through the day while I lay on the sofa temporarily disabled from attending to the chores of a daily routine. My daughter asking me constantly what I want and catapulting into nurse mode treating me just the way I do her. A feel guiltlessness engulfs me as I contemplate whether I’m robbing my children of an experience to be kids like everyone else.

Some mothers Sail through this experience supported by families that step in to fill in the vacancy of an absent father. While some mothers, every now and then float on an ocean called ‘what to do next’, exhausted, stoned, depressed or stunned by life’s relay of ongoing journey. And finally there are the mothers who sink, unable to cope with the world above water, so they sink by the sheer weight of demands they cannot meet and retreat to the depths of the sea bed to figure out how to find the strength to swim back to the top and see the light!

Where ever you are on this Ocean of life, dear single mothers, I salute you, you’re doing a great job!

Praying my health is restored so I can get back to what I do best 🙂

Twerking added to the Oxford Dictionary!

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Twerking added to the Oxford Dictionary!

I tried my best not to react to this new craze, but how can I not. It’s everywhere, like its ok to dance in this manner. But before I begin, “What is Twerking”, one may ask.

“Twerking is a dance move that involves a person, usually a woman, shaking her hips in an up-and-down bouncing motion, causing the dancer to shake, “wobble” and “jiggle.”[1] According to the Oxford Dictionary Online to twerk is “to dance to popular music in a sexually provocative manner involving thrusting hip movements and a low, squatting stance”

It seems since Miley Cyrus decided to…Twerk on Robin Thicke, its been everywhere. And whether I like it or not I’ve had to have a discussion about it with my son who came across a bunch of men doing the dance on Vine videos.

It is is really upsetting to see that things have come to this! And the scary thing, is young girls and boys are quick to copy this promiscuous behaviour.

And lets us quickly reflect on some of the lyrics Miley Cyrus was getting excited about whilst ‘Twerking’ on Robin Thicke’s song.

“Not many women can refuse this pimpin’
I’m a nice guy, but don’t get it if you get with me

[Bridge: Robin Thicke]
Shake the vibe, get down, get up
Do it like it hurt, like it hurt
What you don’t like work?”

The attitudes and beliefs of this industry of music is robbing the children of their innocence. Don’t let your children be one of them!

I could say more but I rest my case!

Life after Divorce

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Life after Divorce

Where do you begin? When after love has been declared like a mirror hanging over the fire place finally falls and shatters. Who picks up the pieces?

The answers are there, but whether the two that once loved are strong enough or mature enough to face up to reality is another question.

In the most common of scenario’s its the woman who is left with the children, and life must continue. But is there enough out there in this big world to aid a family to establish a way forward without the interference of ego’s.

Quiet often those involved know there is hardly nothing, and if you want help you must exert your energy to access this support.

Today I sat and spoke to a young child afflicted with a heavy heart scared to express how they really felt amidst the exchange of ammunition.

Some things are easier than others, but as a community it grieves me to know that as people rush to rejoice in the union of two coming together, their absence will be felt when it all goes wrong.

I pray that the children who become victim to this neglect are protected from the many obstacles they will face in light of when a marriage finally fails.

Life after divorce is never going to be easy, but the recovery is vital, as just like broken glass, if we don’t pick up all the pieces, someone is going to get hurt!

Leave me Alone

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Leave me Alone

It was wonderful! I crept out the room and ran myself a hot bath. Only 7am in the morning and the whole house was silent and peaceful.

I sat at the mirror and took a deep breath, another day I thought Praise be to Allah.

No sooner had I exhaled my son walked into the room, ‘Morning Mom’!
“Sssshhhhhh”, I commanded him! I was desperate to complete my blissful morning with a cup of green tea. But no, that was not going to happen not today.

Time alone used to be something I ran from. And trust me, when you are not used to it, its harder than you think.

However after forcing myself to 7 days of being alone with myself, I now rush at the opportunity to sit and just breathe.

As I write this my daughter crawls on my back desperate to have my time. I realised spending time alone that if we don’t assess how we distribute our time, we’ll often miss out on the things and people that count the most. And most fortunate for me I value that time alone!

“Miss, how come you can speak English?”

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When I first heard this statement my heart dropped, this little boy had been around me for about a week now. Only 7 years old, and already his ideas were being strongly shaped. I replied, “Because I was born in this country too, just like you”.

Within a couple of weeks the curiosity amongst the children continued to grow, and the questions accumulated: What is that on your head? Are you from India?

I continued to work at the school answering the children’s questions as respectively as I could, because you can’t get mad at the children.

The association of a women covering their hair and being from another country is heavily formulated from media and parental points of view embedded upon one another.

Therefore I can only respond by providing these children with the healthy answers they need to dispel these misconceptions.

I realised that people are scared to ask a lot of questions, and where ever I go I must be prepared to welcome those who wish to understand Islam. Because out there is an ocean of different interpretations about Islam which have become immersed amongst cultural understanding of Islam rather than a true understanding of Islam. And what I mean by this is if you asked me why I cover my hair, I could give you a confident answer. Unlike the young girl who wears a scarf because she’s told to!