Tag Archives: faith

In control or being controlled


How often do you sit down alone, with no interruptions, I mean phone off, tell others not to disturb you, close your eyes and be still.  Anyone who does this regularly will know immediately it isn’t easy as a flood of questions and a bombardment of words come rushing into our heads. Very quickly you can identify what is over consuming your time and energy for either addressing it or not.

I’ve learnt that until we find peace with this moment and regain clarity and control, this backlog of tasks will eventually take its toll on us one way or another.  But its not that which I wish to address today. It is the ability to recognise what or who really controls our behaviour.  It could be a habit for some, people for some, dreams, or hurt.  Either way until we resolve or establish a means of being in control, we will lead very miserable lives.

Over the years I have battled to submit and give my control to the worship of my Lord, and alongside this intention I have been tested.  I’m no angel, and in the past I had become dependant on a habit which intoxicated me to the point of freeing me from the very ambush of conversation I today can sit still and be alone with.  But it took a lot of cold turkey, tears, failure and determination to arrive at this place.

The more I strived to be at peace with myself and the more I had to challenge the negative self that I had allowed to grow out of fear of facing it.  The questions were painful, but they required certainty in forgiveness before I could move forward.  I arrived at certainty, but the wait for its delivery sometimes overwhelmed me and I would fall.

We’re living in a time where people are quick to make money off an all too common state of being people have found themselves in, distracting themselves from being alone with social media, drugs, alcohol, sexual activity, work or anything else that will convince them that doing this is better than been alone.

I’m not claiming my time alone is easy, but it has proved to be my greatest strength at winning the battle against my heart that is often all too quick to fall in love with that which is not good for me because I haven’t recognised my worth.  Work in progress, but for now I feel confident enough to say I’m back in control and no longer being controlled by that which is always self serving, and no good for me.


Mankind’s contribution


Mankind's contribution

What would life be like without man’s contributions or attempts to make life better. I mean what have we been provided with, and shouldn’t it be sufficient enough for us to get by. The more I began thinking about this the more I realised that sometimes our desires will lead us to nothing more than our destruction, because in the end, God gave us everything we need to get by.

I’ve spent so much time meditating and detoxing my life that the impacts have fine tuned the way I see the world. Juicing, Yoga, meditating, spending more time with the children have all made me realised that every now and then it is important we make sure that someone else’s desire to be successful, has not interfered with our own ability to access success.

I would rise with the sun, and get ready to sleep when the sun sets. I would eat only that which was in bloom or accessible to eat. I’d spend time cleaning and making my home and children more presentable. I’d read and learn about the lessons of life taught to us from the scriptures.

Common Problems
financial- money- Man-made
weight gain- from processed foods- man-made
War- Over what?- Man’s desire to own things
Racism- Mans desire to divide
Green house affect- Man made power sources

Just a thought
Just contemplating
Just Reflecting

Feed me to the lions or give me a stage?


Feed me to the lions or give me a stage?

Fed up with what seemed like an ambush I did what I thought best! And the result seems to have left spiritual repercussions greater than I had ever anticipated.

Within the space of a week, offers were thrown at me left, right and centre to express my woes about something I considered to be a valuable spiritual experience that many saw little or any worth in at all!

I knew that up until now the people around me and my own interpretation had put me in a seat of complacency practising a belief that enabled me to bath in a pool of faith and certainty.

Fast forward and I sit here wondering if the circus master relished at my decision to share this belief, as I entered the circus ring.

I have much respect for the people I’ve met along the way who seem to have seen my sincerity and offered me a cushioned seat in a hope of offering me a little rest-bite in the ring, to contemplate my next move.

Did I get it all wrong? Are the public like a lion waiting to eat me alive or are there people out there who are ready and willing to understand my truth. Clearly my answer is only one that time will unravel.